Arons & Solomon Divorce Lawyers | April 3, 2025 | Our Family Law Blog
If you’re thinking about a gray divorce in Bergen County, NJ, be aware of the unique challenges. These “gray divorces” come with complexities that require careful handling.
What Is a Gray Divorce?
A gray divorce is when couples divorce after age 50 or after being married for around 20 years or more. Pew Research shows that the divorce rate for those 50 and older has doubled since the 1990s. Younger couples often deal with child custody, but gray divorces focus more on dividing assets and ensuring retirement security.
Seven Critical Issues in Gray Divorce
When facing a gray divorce, watch for these seven important concerns:
1. Retirement Fund Division
Dividing retirement accounts often represents the most significant financial challenge in gray divorces. After decades of saving together, the division process requires careful consideration. These assets may require:
- Qualified Domestic Relations Orders (QDROs) for proper division
- Careful valuation of pensions, 401(k)s, and IRAs
- Strategic planning to minimize tax consequences
Splitting these accounts requires expert guidance to ensure both parties can still retire comfortably.
2. Social Security Benefits
Many people don’t realize that Social Security benefits can be affected by divorce. Your entitlements change significantly after separation. If your marriage lasted at least 10 years, you might be entitled to:
- Benefits based on your ex-spouse’s work record
- Survivor benefits if your ex-spouse passes away
- The higher amount between your own benefits or spousal benefits
To qualify, you must generally be unmarried when applying for spousal benefits. Understanding these options can significantly impact your long-term financial security.
3. Health Insurance Coverage
Health insurance creates serious concerns for divorcing couples over 50, especially if one spouse provided coverage through employer benefits. The transition requires careful planning for continued care. Before Medicare eligibility at 65, you’ll need to consider:
- COBRA coverage (typically limited to 36 months)
- Private insurance options through the marketplace
- Including health insurance provisions in your settlement
Health issues become more common with age, making this consideration particularly important.
4. The Family Home
The family home often carries both financial and emotional significance. The decision about what to do with it affects both parties’ futures. Your options include:
- Selling and dividing proceeds
- One spouse keeping the home (with appropriate compensation to the other)
- Continued co-ownership for a defined period
Consider maintenance costs, taxes, and whether keeping the home aligns with your retirement goals.
5. Alimony and Spousal Support Considerations
In New Jersey, alimony and spousal support are often used interchangeably, but they have distinct meanings:
- Spousal Support: This means financial assistance one spouse provides to the other before a divorce is finalized. This may be granted as temporary (pendente lite) support to help cover living expenses during the divorce process.
- Alimony: A temporary or long-term court-ordered financial obligation after a divorce is finalized, helping the lower-earning spouse maintain a lifestyle comparable to the marriage.
New Jersey courts award alimony based on multiple financial factors, including:
- The length of the marriage
- Each spouse’s earning capacity and employment history
- The standard of living established during the marriage
- The health and age of both parties
- Parental responsibilities and financial contributions
For marriages lasting 20 years or more, courts often award open durational alimony instead of permanent alimony. This means payments continue indefinitely but can be modified or terminated based on significant life changes, such as retirement or remarriage.
Understanding the difference between spousal support (pre-divorce) and alimony (post-divorce) is crucial for financial planning during and after divorce proceedings.
6. Estate Planning Updates
Your estate plan likely names your spouse as beneficiary and executor. Divorce necessitates a comprehensive review of all your end-of-life documents. After divorce, you’ll need to:
- Update your will and trusts
- Change beneficiary designations on life insurance and retirement accounts
- Create new powers of attorney and healthcare directives
- Consider how to protect assets for children and grandchildren
Failing to update these documents can lead to unintended consequences and family conflicts.
7. Emotional Challenges
The emotional impact of ending a decades-long marriage shouldn’t be underestimated. Mental health support becomes crucial during this transition. Consider:
- Building a support network of friends and family
- Working with a therapist who specializes in life transitions
- Joining support groups for people experiencing gray divorce
- Giving yourself time to grieve and adjust
Processing these emotions is essential for moving forward successfully.
Protecting Your Future After a Long Marriage
Gray divorces involve complex financial issues and retirement planning. An experienced attorney can guide you in dividing complex assets, arranging proper alimony, and protecting your retirement so you move confidently into the next chapter of your life.
Contact the Bergen County Family and Divorce Law Firm of Arons & Solomon Divorce Lawyers for more help
Contact the experienced family attorneys at Arons & Solomon Divorce Lawyers today for legal assistance. Visit our law office in Bergen County or give us a call at (201) 487-1199 to schedule a free consultation with our team.
Bergen County Law Office
1 University Plaza Dr #400, Hackensack, NJ 07601, United States