Arons & Solomon Divorce Lawyers | April 21, 2025 | Family Law in Hackensack, NJ
Many people think of domestic violence as physical abuse. However, emotional abuse is also a form of domestic violence. This type of domestic violence can cause extreme mental anguish, depression, anxiety, and other psychological injuries. There are many forms of emotional abuse a person may inflict upon their partner, including narcissistic abuse.
What Is Narcissistic Abuse?
Narcissistic abuse is a form of emotional abuse utilized by someone with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). However, narcissistic abuse can also involve physical violence and sexual abuse. A narcissist often uses manipulation, gaslighting, and belittlement to perpetuate the abuse.
A narcissist is often charismatic and charming. Therefore, they can hide their narcissistic abuse. Also, narcissistic abuse may be subtle, so it is difficult to recognize. However, that does not mean it is not as harmful as physical or violent acts. Mental abuse can be just as damaging as physical abuse.
Signs someone is using narcissistic abuse include, but are not limited to:
- They always need constant praise and validation
- You are the one who is always wrong
- They constantly intimidate or threaten you
- They gaslight you and try to make you feel guilty
- People close to you do not like them
- You are isolated from family and friends
- They try to control your thoughts, emotions, and actions
- You must agree with everything they say
- They blame you and criticize you
- They have no empathy
- They tell you that you are crazy
- They are never wrong and are better than everyone
Narcissistic abuse can occur in a romantic relationship, but it may also occur in friendships. Recognizing the signs of narcissistic abuse is the first step in dealing with the abuse and seeking help.
When you are dealing with emotional abuse, it can be difficult to break the cycle. The person who should be concerned about your welfare is the one causing you pain. If you are subjected to narcissistic abuse, there are a few ways to deal with the abuse.
1. Recognize You Have Value
Unfortunately, narcissistic abuse can cause a victim to believe they deserve to be mistreated or that they are unworthy of help. Narcissists thrive on devaluing their victims because it makes them seem more important. A narcissist requires constant approval, admiration, attention, and adulation. In other words, they want to feel like a god. For that to happen, the people around them must be “lesser” than them.
Your partner is manipulating you into believing you need them because you have no value of your own. In other words, the only value you have is being their partner. None of this is true. Your partner is undervaluing you because they are the one who lacks value.
2. Do Not Blame Yourself
You are not to blame for the abuse. You do not deserve to be abused, and you have done nothing to cause the abuse. Your partner is not acting this way because you are not worthy of respect or good enough for them. The abuse is your partner’s fault.
3. You Cannot Change a Narcissist
No matter what you say or do, you will not change a narcissist. A narcissist will never learn from their mistakes because, in their eyes, they never make a mistake. They are never wrong because anything bad that happens is someone else’s fault. Things always happen “to them” instead of because of their actions.
Instead of trying to change a narcissist, focus on understanding narcissistic abuse and how to get out of the situation. Focus on improving your mental health and moving on with your life.
4. Seek Counseling and Therapy
Get help from a therapist or counselor with experience in narcissistic abuse recovery. There are also support groups you can join that might be helpful. Talking with other survivors of narcissistic abuse can provide comfort and strength as you escape an abusive relationship. It also helps to know how other individuals successfully overcame narcissistic abuse.
5. Consider Your Legal Options
Unfortunately, you are not going to change your partner’s behavior. A narcissist does not want to change. They do not care how much pain they cause because they do not recognize that their actions cause pain. In addition to causing you pain, a narcissistic parent can cause your children emotional harm.
Therefore, you may need to consider your legal options for a divorce. A Bergen County divorce lawyer can explain your legal rights for dissolving your marriage.
Seek Legal Help and Begin Moving Forward
Working with an experienced divorce attorney can help you protect your rights regarding child custody, alimony, property division, and child support. Schedule a free consultation with an attorney to learn more about divorcing a narcissist.
Contact the Bergen County Family and Divorce Law Firm of Arons & Solomon Divorce Lawyers for more help
Contact the experienced family attorneys at Arons & Solomon Divorce Lawyers today for legal assistance. Visit our law office in Bergen County or give us a call at (201) 487-1199 to schedule a free consultation with our team.
Bergen County Law Office
1 University Plaza Dr #400
Hackensack, NJ 07601, United States