Navigating life after any divorce can be complex, but high-conflict divorces can bring their own set of unique challenges, especially when you have children. If you are having trouble communicating with your former partner, it may not be easy to have productive discussions about any issues, even those relating to co-parenting your children.

Following these tips can help you navigate co-parenting after a high-conflict divorce in Bergen County, New Jersey.

First, keep in mind that the dissolution of a marriage is regulated by New Jersey laws. There are consequences for violating the terms of your divorce, including the child custody terms. As much as you may not want to communicate further with your ex-spouse, violating any part of the child custody order can cause you a range of legal problems.

Consider Your Child’s Emotional Health

While parents may see divorce coming from a mile away, children are often caught off-guard. Many feel that they are somehow responsible. And even if your child doesn’t feel that way, they may be hurting because they are separated from their parents.

You have the opportunity to minimize that hurt. This means that it’s important to do everything possible to remain amicable when dealing with your ex-spouse, at least in any location where your child is present. 

It also means you need to avoid:

  • Doing anything to sabotage the relationship your child has with their other parent
  • Trying to get information about your ex-spouse from your child
  • Speaking badly about your ex-spouse in front of your child
  • Pressuring your child to choose a side in the dispute

Keeping interactions amicable with your former spouse may be a challenge after a high-conflict divorce, but doing so can make a substantial difference in your child’s emotional health.

Schedule With Your Child’s Needs in Mind

You and your spouse are probably under a court order regarding child custody that allows some form of flexibility to adjust as necessary to suit everyone’s busy schedules, including your children’s.

When a situation requires a short-term change to the child custody schedule, it’s important that you work with your partner to make adjustments as needed in the best interests of your child. And if something arises requiring a long-term change, you can petition the court for a modification of the child custody order

No matter how much you dislike your ex-spouse, this is best done amicably.

Negotiate in Good Faith

Eventually, you or your ex-spouse will need to negotiate. If you can’t do this cordially, seek out the assistance of an arbiter. The goal of any negotiation should be to set a plan for co-parenting. You must be able to communicate during this process, or your child will suffer.

The easiest place to start these negotiations is by discussing holiday and visitation rules. This is a good step toward more difficult discussions.

Those more difficult discussions may have to do with development decisions for your children. What privileges will they have? What responsibilities? You and your spouse need to agree and be consistent. Married parents have these discussions naturally. But you will need to set times for them with your ex-spouse and be ready to have mature discussions.

The Key To Successful Co-Parenting

Regardless of the state of your relationship with your former partner, the key to successful co-parenting is keeping in mind that you both love your children and want the best for them. By focusing on ensuring your children’s needs are met and consulting a family law attorney to assist with the process, you can successfully navigate co-parenting after a divorce.

Contact the Bergen County Family and Divorce Law Firm of Arons & Solomon Divorce Lawyers for more help

Contact the experienced family attorneys at Arons & Solomon Divorce Lawyers today for legal assistance. Visit our law office in Bergen County or give us a call at (201) 487-1199 to schedule a free consultation with our team.

Bergen County Law Office
1 University Plaza Dr #400, Hackensack, NJ 07601, United States