Arons & Solomon | November 3, 2016 | Articles
We all know a divorce can be one of the toughest times in your lifetime. During the process, you may feel stressed out and frustrated, making you prone to mistakes you may later regret. The decisions you make during a divorce can have a serious impact on the rest of your life.
It’s important that you remain vigilant, beware of potential hazards, and stay strong throughout the process. Here are 6 mistakes that can be the difference between a smart divorce and a lifetime of regret:
1: Not Knowing About Finances
Perhaps you helped out with the finances and know quite a bit. Maybe you know next to nothing. It always pays to obtain as much information as possible so that you can intelligently negotiate the division of your assets and debts during the divorce. Learn as much about your finances as possible–whether by asking or personal investigating—looking for not only information as to your marital assets, but also marital debt. Both assets and debt may be hidden from you if you didn’t handle the finances during the marriage.
2: Not Asking For What You Want
Now is the time for even the least assertive wife to assert herself. Know what you want when it comes to parenting time, custody, spousal and child support and division of property. Let your attorney know your position on each of the issues and be ready to stand fast unless your attorney advises that your position is unreasonable and something that a Court would never award. What you win in this case will carry over for life, so don’t be afraid to be assertive.
3: Gathering Funds
Getting divorced can be expensive depending upon the issues in the case and the animosity of the parties. It’s a good idea to find out beforehand what you may need to save because you are not guaranteed that a court will award you funds during the divorce to pay your legal fees.
4: Believing Women Are Favored in Court
Despite what you may believe, your gender won’t affect the judge’s decisions. New Jersey judges are gender neutral. Don’t let anybody tell you otherwise. Believing you have an advantage can work against you while negotiating.
5: Clinging to the Past
You may have relied on your husband for more than you think. This can include finances, assets, and general support. You will lose some of these things. As a result, your life will change quite drastically. Instead of dwelling on the past, you should look forward and create a bright future for yourself. Expect your life to change and adapt to it. Letting go will make the transition much easier for you.
6: Settling for Less
It’s okay to discuss issues and reach an agreement with your husband, but be cautious when it comes to finances and property. Make sure a lawyer reviews any agreement you reach on your own with your spouse. A good lawyer will look for pitfalls, making sure the agreement states what you think you bargained for. Don’t let yourself get bullied into settling for less. Discuss it with your lawyer. If your lawyer believes you are seeking is lawful and reasonable, then let your lawyer discuss with your husband any effort your husband may make to convince you to settle for less.