Arons & Solomon Divorce Lawyers | July 11, 2025 | Divorce in Hackensack, NJ
Divorce can turn a child’s world upside down in ways they may struggle to express. Familiar routines may suddenly disappear, and home may no longer feel like the safe, steady place it once was. But when parents understand how divorce can impact their children, they’re better equipped to provide the support and reassurance their kids need to adapt and heal.
Below are six common effects of divorce on children and how you can help them adjust.
1. Emotional Struggles
A divorce may leave kids feeling confused and overwhelmed. Try to explain to them that this is a normal reaction. Reassure your children frequently and keep your talks honest and straightforward so they don’t have to guess what you’re thinking or how you feel.
2. Academic Challenges
Divorce is difficult enough without the added stress of school, and children often struggle academically during the process. Parents can help by working with their children’s teachers to make adjustments as needed and staying proactively involved so their children understand that school is important.
3. Behavior Changes
Kids will often act out during a divorce. It’s important to keep boundaries firm but fair. Give them positive feedback for good moments, but if they continue to lash out or retreat, a therapist may be able to help them better manage their feelings. Act quickly if your child needs help.
4. Social Withdrawal
Some kids want to stop hanging out with their friends during or after a divorce. Often, it’s because they’re embarrassed or worried others may judge them. Sometimes, it is due to depression. Keep encouraging your children to pursue activities they enjoy and to stay social. Time with close friends can help in rebuilding their confidence.
5. Difficulty Adjusting
Divorce often brings changes that leave kids feeling off-kilter. One of the best ways to help is to keep daily routines and life as steady as possible. Keep meals, bedtimes, and school routines consistent when you can and let your kids know in advance if plans will change. Most of all, remind them again and again that none of this is their fault.
6. Feelings of Guilt
Many children believe their parents are divorcing because of something they did or didn’t do. They might replay a moment in their head, like an argument or a bad grade, thinking it led to the split.
Look for signs like constant apologies or questions about whether they caused the breakup. Make it clear that divorce is an adult decision, and nothing your child did could have changed it. If guilt sticks around, a child therapist can help them work through it so they don’t carry that weight alone.
Ways to Help Your Children Adjust
Helping children weather the storm of divorce isn’t easy, but steady support can make all the difference. Parents who can set aside conflict and work together give kids a stronger foundation.
Here are practical ways to help kids adjust:
- Avoid arguments in front of them
- Keep stable daily routines
- Be honest
- Don’t ask them to be the middleman
- Remind them they’re loved
- Watch for signs of depression
- Reach out to counselors
Taking these steps shows children they’re loved and supported, even when the family structure changes. It helps them find a sense of safety again.
Contact the Bergen County Family and Divorce Law Firm of Arons & Solomon Divorce Lawyers for more help
Divorce doesn’t have to define a child’s path. For families going through separation or divorce, understanding what kids go through and responding with patience can give them the security they need to adapt. These efforts lay a foundation for resilience, helping children grow into adults who feel safe, supported, and ready to build healthy relationships of their own.
If you have further questions, contact the experienced family attorneys at Arons & Solomon Divorce Lawyers today for legal assistance. Visit our law office in Bergen County or give us a call at (201) 487-1199 to schedule a free consultation with our team.
Bergen County Law Office
1 University Plaza Dr #400, Hackensack, NJ 07601, United States