Arons & Solomon, P.A.

In Low-Conflict Divorce, You May Still Need a Lawyer

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Everybody hopes their divorce will end quickly, inexpensively, and peacefully. If you can move through the divorce proceedings with minimal conflict, that is the healthiest approach for everyone involved.

While things are going smoothly, it may be tempting to DIY the divorce. This approach might make sense for younger couples with no children, minimal shared property and no support requests. However, you should always have a divorce lawyer review your paperwork and settlement agreement before it is finalized.

If your divorce case involves any of the following elements, you should obtain legal counsel immediately:

  • Anticipated spousal or child support requests
  • Children
  • Complicated financial holdings
  • Domestic violence
  • Shared business ventures
  • Shared property or assets
  • Significant differences in earning capacity

Why Hire a Divorce Lawyer?

  • Divorce lawyers can help you communicate in a way that prevents conflict

Your current cease-fire is more delicate than you think. Just because there are no issues now, does not mean there won’t be any issues down the road. The stakes of the divorce become very real when both parties start putting commitments down on paper. Even in the lowest-conflict divorce cases, there are moments of miscommunication and weakness. The right divorce lawyer can help both parties share information in a way that prevents conflict and unwanted drama.

  • Divorce lawyers can help you stay out of court

Hiring a divorce attorney does not mean your case will automatically be litigated in court. In fact, the opposite is often true. An experienced family lawyer can provide valuable guidance on alternative divorce solutions, including collaborative divorce, arbitration, and mediation. Most couples do not want their final settlement to hinge on the decision of a judge. The right lawyer will transition you through divorce in a way that regains a sense of stability and control over your life.

  • Divorce lawyers can help you maintain perspective

Remaining calm and level-headed throughout the divorce process is harder than it seems, especially when there are children involved. A divorce lawyer can help you stay focused on what’s important. While certain events during the proceeding may take you by surprise, this is not your attorney’s first divorce. There is almost nothing they haven’t seen.

  • Divorce lawyers can protect your rights (and safety)

When you are in uncharted territory, you don’t know what you don’t know. That’s what makes DIY divorce so risky. An experienced divorce lawyer protects your rights in ways that might not have even occurred to you. In cases of domestic violence, a survivor may not be able to negotiate freely with their ex-spouse. In this case, a lawyer can negotiate on your behalf in a way that preserves your emotional health and physical safety.

  • Divorce lawyers have a helpful network of professionals

Established divorce lawyers have working relationships with the family court system and other divorce lawyers in the area. They have access to a network of key professionals, including financial planners, private investigators, forensic accountants, mental health counselors, process servers and more.

Can We Share an Attorney?

No. A single lawyer representing both sides of a case would be a clear conflict of interest. If you are worried about the financial costs of divorce, consider an alternative dispute resolution method such as mediation or collaborative divorce. Both approaches focus on long-term conflict resolution rather than “winning” the divorce at any cost, and are generally less time consuming and expensive than litigation.

Hire a New Jersey Divorce Lawyer

Selecting the right divorce attorney is a decision that can change the course of your life. Learn more about how to select the right NJ divorce lawyer here.

5 Ways a “Grey Divorce” Can Impact Your Retirement

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Americans are increasingly pursuing divorces later in life. According to Pew Research, the number of U.S. adults divorcing at age 65 or beyond has roughly tripled since the 1990s. The trend has been nicknamed “grey divorce,” a reference to the grey hair of the spouses filing the paperwork.

Getting a divorce radically changes the plan for long-term couples who have been building toward retirement for decades. It impacts every aspect of an existing lifestyle, from social relationships to personal finance. Since there is less time for older couples to financially recover following a divorce, the settlement will have a huge impact on future quality of life.
Below are 5 things to consider when divorcing before, or during, your retirement years.

Changes in Monthly Cash Flow

Living alone changes all your monthly expenses. Single individuals bear the full financial cost of housing payments, utilities, groceries, cable, and more. They may also need to spend some money upfront on new furniture or perhaps a car.

Women tend to feel the financial pain more than male partners. Women have traditionally taken a break from the workforce to raise children. When a divorce happens later in life, some re-enter the workforce feeling a couple steps behind their peers who never left. (And who is thinking about the job market when you thought retirement was around the corner?)
A divorce attorney can help you finalize a spousal support arrangement that protects your quality of life and connect you with a Certified Financial Planner™ professional to establish a new long-term financial plan.

More Control Over Spending Habits

On the positive side, a grey divorce allows individuals to take back control over their finances. This is especially good news for couples who suffered from recurring fights over each other’s spending habits.

A fresh start can be an opportunity to become debt-free, or to make purchasing decisions without the stress of a financially controlling partner.

Social Security Benefits

Social Security benefits can be collected on an ex-spouse’s work record if:

  • You are 62+ years of age
  • Currently unmarried
  • The marriage lasted 10 years or more

If you’ve had multiple marriages lasting 10 years or more, you can choose which spouse’s record to claim benefits on. The order of the marriages and divorces doesn’t matter.

Estate Planning for Blended Families

Divorcing later in life means a couple could be on their second or third marriage. They may have entered the relationship with children from previous marriages, and now worry about those children being disinherited or otherwise cheated out of the financial support promised to them.

There are several ways to protect your children’s financial interests. The rules surrounding estate planning can be very complicated, so it’s best to consult the advice of a family lawyer.

Physical Health

The stress of a divorce takes a toll on anyone, regardless of age. That being said- age doesn’t make it any easier. If you have existing medical conditions that could worsen under stress, it’s important to develop a plan for self-care that will preserve your longevity and quality of life.

Never underestimate the value of exercise, sleep, nutrition, socializing with friends, and a good therapist.

Social Isolation

The social consequences of divorce can be really complicated. Some friends may pick sides, depending on the circumstances surrounding the divorce. Other friends might be a little jealous or threatened by the big changes in your new life. Married couples who liked to participate in shared activities and double dates might gradually fall out of touch.

You may also find that children and grandchildren visit less frequently, now that they must split time between visiting Grandma and visiting Grandpa. Then again, some individuals feel lonely in their marriages, and find their social life dramatically improves post-divorce. Every couple is different.

Hire a New Jersey Divorce Lawyer

If you are considering a divorce, the family law attorneys at Arons & Solomon can help. We protect the best interests of our clients and use mediation and collaborative approaches when possible to minimize the conflict and heartache associated with divorce.

All clients leave our office with stability and a plan to move forward. Contact us today for a free consultation.

8 Things to Consider Before Divorcing During the Holidays

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In family law circles, January has earned the reputation of “divorce month” for the surge in divorce filings seen after the holiday season. Studies also show an increase in divorce filings during August and March, both considered to be “quiet breaks” between holidays and back-to-school activities.

It’s understandable why divorce filings decrease at the end of the year. The holidays can be a very emotional and nostalgic time for families. They can give couples false hope the relationship can be repaired. They can also subject divorcing couples to a million intrusive questions from family members in town for the long weekend.

Every family is different, which means a divorce timeline that works for one couple may not work for another. If you have concerns about filing for divorce before the holidays, here are a few things to consider.

  • Is the desire for divorce mutual?

It is not wise to surprise a spouse with divorce papers right before the holidays. If both partners are on the same page about seeking divorce and the proceedings are expected to be amicable, the timing of the paperwork is not as important. Couples can always wait to make the formal announcement until after the holidays.

  • Are you in immediate danger or a toxic home environment?

If you are in an abusive relationship, the holiday calendar does not matter. You should seek immediate assistance from a lawyer and law enforcement, if necessary.

  • Do you have a healthy co-parenting dynamic?

If you are in a high-conflict relationship, waiting the extra month or two to file for divorce can feel like an eternity. Children are also very intuitive and may sense a divorce coming before parents get a chance to make the announcement. If you can successfully hide the tension between yourself and your spouse, it might be worth waiting until after the holidays to file.

  • Will the divorce be less contentious after the holidays?

For some couples, fighting increases during the holiday season. If that sounds familiar, you may want to delay filing for divorce until after the holidays. Enduring the divorce process during an already conflict-heavy season will only make the proceedings more contentious.

  • Can you handle more stress on top of the financial and emotional toll of the holidays?

The holidays alone can be expensive and stressful, especially if they involve hosting or travel. If you are already overcommitted, it might be worth postponing the divorce until after the new year.

  • Will having family around help you cope, or add anxiety to the situation?

If having family nearby will help you navigate the stress and sadness of divorce, filing during the holiday season might be in your best interest. If your family is known to stress you out, it might be better to wait to file and announce until they are far, far away.

  • Can you handle pretending, or will it backfire?

Putting on a happy front for the holiday season is not for everyone. If you feel this dynamic might cause more conflict and pain than it’s worth, follow your instinct and do what is best for your mental health.

  • Will you need the immediate assistance of professionals?

Lawyers, counselors, doctors, judges, and mediators are just a few of the professionals that may be out-of-pocket during parts of the holiday season. This limited availability can delay the divorce process into the new year. If the split is amicable and you are hoping to reach an agreement before the holidays, you should contact a family law attorney to get the process moving as soon as possible.

We Already Filed, Should We Tell the Kids After the Holidays?

Nobody wants their children to associate the magic of the holiday season with the heartbreak of a divorce. For this reason, many parents wait until after the New Year to file.

Some divorcing parents want their kids to enjoy “one last holiday together” before making the big announcement. This is an attractive idea in theory, but not always in practice. For high-conflict relationships, celebrating separately can spare children the added stress of watching parents fight, again. Children are always more observant than we think.

Depending on the ages of the children, some may feel deceived by a post-holiday divorce announcement. It implies the parents were not being genuine during the holiday celebrations. This can lead to issues with trust and resentment down the road. Family counseling can help children process these complicated feelings.

Divorce is a radical change in lifestyle. There will be a long adjustment period for everyone in the family to adapt. Divided holidays aren’t necessarily going to be worse than before, they are just going to be different.

If children have time to process the divorce before the holidays arrive, they might be willing to participate in coming up with new family traditions. Regardless of the timing of your divorce filing, make sure your parenting plan includes a holiday schedule.

Meet with a New Jersey Divorce Attorney

Like most things in life, timing is everything. You want to give serious thought to how, where, and when you ask your spouse for a divorce and announce it to your loved ones.

However, if you look hard enough, there will always be a reason to wait to file for divorce. Birthdays, holidays, vacations, soccer games, cold and flu season, summer camps, graduations, the list goes on.

The divorcing couple can’t always control the calendar, but they can make decisions together in a way that minimizes headache and heartache for the children.

A trusted divorce lawyer can help you map out a timeline that serves the best interests of your family. Contact us for a free initial consultation.

What Constitutes the “Best Interest of the Child” in New Jersey?

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If you do a quick Google search for information on child custody and visitation, you will find post after post referring to the “best interest of the child.”

The phrase is mentioned all the time in divorce law, but what does it mean?

A Quick Overview on Custody

When separated parents cannot agree on a custody and visitation agreement (aka. a “Parenting Plan”) the courts must make the decisions for them.

Unlike child support, there is no set formula to calculate custody responsibilities and visitation schedules. Each judge will weigh the individual criteria differently within the general framework of the “best interest of the child.” The decision can be incredibly subjective.

Courts also rely heavily on custody experts when determining custody, which can require an evaluation of both parties, and the children.

For these reasons, it’s always better for separated spouses to create a Parenting Plan together outside of court, if possible. Not only will this less intrusive approach give both parties more control over the process, it also begins the journey of co-parenting from a place of communication and mutual understanding.

A Child’s Best Interest, Defined

The “best interest” of the child refers to his/her physical, mental, and emotional well-being. Unless proven otherwise, it is assumed by the court that children benefit from having both parents play an active role in their lives.

According to N.J.S.A. 9:2-4, New Jersey courts will consider several factors when determining the “best interest of the child,” including:

  • Age and number of children in each home
  • Both parents’ ability to agree, communicate and cooperate in matters relating to the child, existing custody arrangement, and/or parenting time
  • Extent -and quality- of time spent by both parents with the child before and after separation
  • Fitness of both parents
  • General proximity of the parents’ homes
  • Location of the child’s school
  • Preference of the child, if age appropriate
  • Preserving healthy sibling and parent-child relationships
  • Special needs of the child, if applicable
  • Stability of the home environment
  • The immediate physical safety of the child (and other parent), along with any history of domestic violence in the household
  • Work hours and responsibilities of each parent
  • Any other issues the court deems relevant

New Jersey courts will always prioritize the “best interest of the child” over all other factors, including the wishes of both parents and grandparents.

Seek Counsel from a New Jersey Divorce Lawyer for Custody Disputes

It’s critically important to seek the advice of a New Jersey divorce attorney for all custody disputes and parenting plan modifications. Nobody should be “winging it” when it comes to protecting legal access to their children.

The custody lawyers at Arons & Solomon understand the stakes could not be higher. We work with clients in the Bergen County and Morris County areas to make sure loving and supportive parents stay closely involved in their children’s daily lives.

Our team also works to protect children from dangerous environments of domestic violence, substance abuse, and neglect.

If you need to create a Parenting Plan, or update an existing plan, we can help.

 

Can I Change My Child’s Name After Divorce?

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Many individuals choose to return to a maiden or birth name following a divorce. If you changed your name during a divorce, you might be curious about changing the children’s names to match your own.

There is a way to legally change your child’s name in the State of New Jersey. However, it is entirely separate from the divorce process.

Typically, both parents must consent to the name change. If both parents consent, the judge will almost always approve the request. If one parent opposes the name change, things get a little more complicated.

What Does the Process Look Like?

The parent seeking the name change needs to submit a Verified Complaint (along with some other paperwork and a filing fee) to the Superior Court in the jurisdiction of the parent and child’s residence. The court will set a date for the hearing, and a notice of the request and hearing date must be published in the local newspaper at least two weeks before the hearing.

The other parent must be notified of the hearing and has a right to oppose the name change. After the court hearing, the final judgement must be published in the local newspaper.

The New Jersey Courts put together a packet to help parents request a name change for a child under the age of 18.

What if One Parent Does Not Consent?

As with all other issues in family court, judges will make the name change decision in the “best interest of the child.”

Traditionally, the courts have been biased toward keeping the child’s original last name, especially if the father plays an active role in the child’s life. However, if you can prove a name change would be in the best interest of the child, you may be able to change the child’s name without the consent of the other parent.

The court will consider numerous criteria when determining whether a name change is appropriate for the child:

  • Age of the child
  • Effect of a name change on the child’s relationship with both parents
  • Length of time the child has used the current name
  • Motivations of the parent requesting a name change
  • Parental misconduct or neglect
  • Potential harms of changing the child’s name (anxiety, embarrassment, etc.)
  • The child’s existing relationship with each parent
  • The current name’s ties to family heritage or ethnic identity
  • The name’s role in identifying with a family unit
  • The wishes of the child (mostly for older children)
  • Whether the mother intends to change her name upon remarriage
  • Other relevant factors that impact the child’s well-being

Every situation is different, so the judge’s opinion will depend heavily on the specific facts of the case.

Hire a New Jersey Family Lawyer

Changing a child’s name requires paperwork, filing fees, and court hearings. You should seek the assistance of a professional, especially if you anticipate opposition from the child’s other parent.

 

Do Grandparents Have Visitation Rights in New Jersey?

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Divorce holds consequences for the entire family, not just parents and children. It’s normal for grandparents to worry about how a divorce settlement will impact their relationship with their grandchildren.

Fortunately, grandparents have options.

The State of New Jersey has a statute allowing grandparents to request time with their grandchildren by filing a separate suit seeking visitation. The suit should be filed with the Superior Court in the child’s residential county. An attorney specializing in family law can help file the appropriate papers.

The child’s parents will receive a copy of the application, and a notice to appear in court for a hearing. If a visitation schedule is agreed upon, it will become a court order and enforced by law.

According to N.J.S.A. 9:2-7.1:

A grandparent or any sibling of a child residing in this State may make application before the Superior Court, in accordance with the Rules of Court, for an order for visitation. It shall be the burden of the applicant to prove by a preponderance of the evidence that the granting of visitation is in the best interests of the child… With regard to any application made pursuant to this section, it shall be prima facie evidence that visitation is in the child’s best interest if the applicant had, in the past, been a full-time caretaker for the child.

Grandparent visitation rights are case-specific and depend on eight main factors, including:

  • The best interests of the child
  • The grandparent’s relationship with the child
  • The grandparent’s relationship with the custodial and noncustodial parents
  • Any existing time-sharing arrangement between the child’s parents
  • History of physical, emotional or sexual abuse or neglect on the part of the grandparent
  • Time elapsed since the grandparent last had contact with the child
  • The good faith of the grandparent in filing the application
  • Visitation’s potential effect on the relationship between the child and his/her parents

It is important to remember the courts are evaluating the facts of the case through the lens of the “best interests of the child,” not the best interests of the grandparents.

What if the Parents Are Not Divorced?

All issues related to grandparent visitation are considered a separate lawsuit and not considered part of any divorce. Technically, grandparents can apply for visitation rights if the child’s parents are still together, divorced, or were never married.

Legal Decisions Impacting Grandparent Visitation Rights

Decisions in the higher courts have significantly limited the visitation rights of New Jersey grandparents. In 2000, the U.S. Supreme Court case Troxel v. Granville ruled the “best interest of the child” argument was not enough to overrule a parent’s constitutional right to make decisions on how to best raise their children.

In 2003, the New Jersey Supreme Court applied the Troxel decision to the Moriarty v. Bradt case, which ruled that parental choices in New Jersey can only be overridden with proof the child’s health or well-being is at risk. In other words, grandparents must provide solid evidence to the courts that severing the relationship will physically or emotionally harm the child.

This standard is a lot tougher than the “best interest of the child” argument. The U.S. and New Jersey Supreme Courts have made it clear that a dispute between a parent and a grandparent is not a contest between equals. The parent will always have the legal advantage.

Hire a Professional

Loving and supportive grandparents deserve a place in the lives of their grandchildren. If you are a grandparent looking for a legal means to preserve your relationship with your grandchild, don’t suffer through the process alone and uninformed. We’re here to help.

For a free consultation on grandparent visitation rights, contact the New Jersey family law experts at Arons & Solomon.

Is a New Jersey Prenuptial Agreement Right for You?

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Nobody wants to think about ending a marriage, especially before it has officially begun. Still, a prenuptial agreement can be a valuable starting point for engaged partners to discuss finances and priorities in their married life together.

Making a thoughtful premarital contract can save time, money, and anxiety in the event of the unthinkable.

What is a Prenuptial Agreement?

A prenuptial agreement is a legally binding contract between two individuals that becomes effective after they are legally married to each other. This type of arrangement can go by many different names, including: prenuptial agreement, premarital agreement, postnuptial agreement, antenuptial agreement, and “prenup.”

Why Have a Prenuptial Agreement?

There are many reasons to have a prenuptial agreement. In some instances, a partner may want to protect personal assets or a large expected inheritance. Business owners may want to shield their business assets from equitable distribution. Others may be concerned about protecting children from a prior marriage.

What’s in a Prenuptial Agreement?

Prenuptial agreements can address any of the following issues:

  • Alimony (aka spousal support)
  • Choice of law governing the agreement
  • Creation of a will and/or trust to carry out the premarital agreement in the event of death
  • Division and control of property
  • Divisions of assets and investment accounts
  • Ownership of premarital debts (mortgages, student loans, credit cards, etc.)
  • Rights and responsibilities of both parties in other personal matters, if they do not violate public policy

Child support and custody cannot be included in a prenuptial agreement.

Is a Prenuptial Agreement Right for Me?

Premarital agreements aren’t just for celebrities. If you have been previously married, own a business, or have children with a prior partner, you are a good candidate for a prenuptial agreement. If you have significantly more assets or debt than your future spouse, you are also a good candidate for a prenuptial agreement.

If you are experiencing general anxiety surrounding the idea of a financial merger with your spouse, you could be a good candidate for a prenuptial agreement.

Hire a New Jersey Family Law Expert

New Jersey prenuptial agreements are governed by complex laws and requirements. They require a written document, with complete financial disclosures, signed by both parties in the presence of an appropriate witness. If done incorrectly, the validity of these agreements can and will be challenged in court.

The Arons & Solomon team holds decades of experience in drafting, reviewing, and litigating prenuptial agreements. We will make sure your prenuptial agreement is fully compliant under NJ state law, and protects your best interests. Contact us for a free consultation.

 

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